I know I’m getting a really late start today, but this is why. The trailer for ‘Battleship’ (HD copies here). I’ve just been staring at this thing. Dumbstruck.I really hope some journalist followed this movie from inception on up to write a book about it. The only thing better than that would be if that journalist were Joan Didion.
A few years ago of course, Hasbro tricked Universal into a deal to make movies based on thier toys. Except for Transformers and GI Joe, which already had deals with Paramount. In other words, except for the only two toys that could be turned into movies. That left Universal with Monopoly, Candyland, Clue, Ouija, Magic: The Gathering, Stretch Armstrong and… this. Battleship.
So they made a battleship movie. With aliens.
They have fucking aliens in it.
Instead of making a World War II movie about battleships, maybe one about Leyte Gulf, the largest naval battle in the history of the world, which had like 30 battleships in it, they made this.
A modern day battleship movie. With aliens.
Um, just in case you’re a girl, the US Navy hasn’t had a battleship in its fleet for like 20 years. The big money shot at the end? This? That’s an Iowa class battleship. We don’t have those anymore. Battleships aren’t even listed on the Navy's inventory anymore. They were torn apart for scrap metal. 5 or 6 are still around as memorials, but they couldn’t fire any more than they could have a giant helicopter blade come out of the top and fly away. This would be like if they made ‘Top Gun’ today, and everyone had a Raptor except for Tom Cruise, who had a white scarf and leather helmet and flew a bi-plane.
Friday, July 29, 2011
When the WWTDD guy goes on a fine rant, excerpting it would be Boeotian:
Thus blogged Anderson ... on or about Friday, July 29, 2011